My grim truth

A grim name for a blog at best. I can only hope it provides potential readers with a thoroughly suspicious and pessimistic view of all posts to come. The grim truth for me right now is that the time has arrived, in this young drunkard's life, to take a prolonged sabbatical from the alcoholic profession. I have been stumbling through life quite happily, spending most mondays lying in a heap on the couch, remembering amusing anecdotes from the blurry nights before, waiting for an appropriate moment to have my next glass of wine- 5pm is okay, surely?- and generally being a massive twat. I mean that in the way english people use it, which is less gross, I feel, than the literal translation. 

SO. I have decreed that I shall take a year of drinking. I will keep a cyber diary in an attempt to perhaps understand the journey a little better, but mainly because I still feel guilty that I never kept a journal on ANY family holidays, despite mum's earnest pleas. So this is my sober, cyber, year-long holiday. Bummer. Hope someone brought a scrabble board. 

In the (rather gaping) absence of alcohol this year, I have decided to fill its place with the (rather more abrasive) virtue of honesty. Honesty to myself, to others... The kind of ball-busting honesty which will  invoke the courage to look at my bank balance; to tell my friends when they're being assholes; to stand up for myself when by all accounts I've been a shit, but my side still needs to be told, dammit. And that, I fear, will be far more difficult than resisting a litre of wine a night.  I know I can go without alcohol... But to go without the comfortable padding of little white lies and omissions- this will be the real challenge. 

Along the way I want to find light in my life: I want to perceive my experiences as luminous- able to provide reflection and inspiration and joy. I want to enjoy and learn from every meal I cook, every walk I take, every conversation I have, every word I write. And if I slip up, I will brush myself off and try again. 

So here goes... Oct 24th 2011- Oct 23rd 2012. Sober honesty. 

my. grim. truth.